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CYCLES OF CHANGE

by Isaiah Villar

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1.
HEARTS HEAVY 04:45
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Walking slowly out of pace The days get grim and fade to gray The world is cold as it can be And I can′t look forward to the long run For there's nothing to bring My aspirations broken failed Through time they came and died away Is there still hope to find in life Cause I′m drowning in this wasteland For there's nothing to see There's nothing to see So leave me at ease Help me find peace Through the tension inside And leave me restored Make me feel whole Past the sins, my desires Won′t you make me feel alive The relapse comes and goes away Why can′t I shake myself this pain It's like I′m chasing down the wind And there's nothing much to look towards For everything will fade Yes, everything will fade So leave me at ease Help me find peace Through the tension inside And leave me restored Make me feel whole Past the sins, my desires Won′t you make me feel alive So leave me at ease Help me find peace Through the tension inside And leave me restored Make me feel whole Past the sins, my desires Won't you make me feel alive
2.
FEEL ALIVE 04:30
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I'm drained out, torn to ashes dying slow alive I'm losing my own self As this heart's been growing heavy confined to desire It tolls unto my health As I'm slowly wasting time, poisoning my broken mind There's nothing left for me to give An all-time low, I set the bar down, uninspired As the days are getting dim And the one I love is fading further from my sight As I sink into this sin Going deeper every time, I lose a piece of my own life There's nothing left for me to live Oh, someone make me feel alive Cause it's too much just to bear on my own might Yes, someone make me feel alive I can't hold on too much longer to survive Just make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Just make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive I'm distant as I'm calling you to reach down To cure my own disease Cause I'm weary and I'm stubborn in the stench, I find Won't you clean me from within Oh, won't you make me feel alive Cause it's too much just to bear on my own might Yes, someone make me feel alive I can't hold on too much longer to survive Just make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Just make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Make me feel alive Won't you make me feel alive
3.
SEPARATE 04:41
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I am disappointed in the way I go around things I'm disappointed in the way I live my life I wish I was a better friend A better son A better person overall Maybe it's best that I take my time for myself Figure out how to be a better person Maybe it's time that I separate And never come back The walls are caving in The void is getting larger, getting wide I fear my thoughts and what's inside A threat of violence through their eyes I isolate from all my peers Locked the door head confined Suppressing everything I can Until I'm freed from this desire Cause I don't want to be a deadbeat friend A scum in their eyes A monster in their sight And I don't want to bruise the ones I love Letting them down until they had enough Yes, I don't want to be a deadbeat friend A scum in their eyes A monster in their sight And I don't want to hurt the ones I love Letting them down until they had enough And so I separate myself until I'm sure That the habit leaves from me Till I'm cured My spirits wearing thin Of living up to what they think of me Alone in all of this The pressures kicking in running deep So I leave them all behind A fraud I am A failure from within Rejecting everything I can Until I overcome this sin Cause I don't want to be a deadbeat son A garbage can that can't do anything And I don't want to fail the ones I love Disappointing them until they leave Yes, I don't want to be a deadbeat friend A scum in their eyes A monster in their sight And I don't want to hurt the ones I love Letting them down until they had enough And so I separate myself until I'm sure That the habit leaves from me Till I'm cured
4.
HOW LONG 04:30
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Oh, how long will it take Before I'm bent up from my ways Eyes new restored Free from the chains that I can't break Oh, how long will it take Before I walk out this place Cause it's always the same I'm back in circles everyday Oh, open up my sight To see the things you do To walk down in your shoes And open up my eyes Oh, change me from my ways The things that I embrace Please do Lord
5.
DROWN THE FEELING 04:33
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If I could wipe the past I would do it real fast Do it in a flash And if I could move along From this feeling so strong I'm down to lose it all And forget this ever happened A mishap in the code erased So let me kill this, my emotions That's driving my ideals insane And drown the feeling (ah) I'm tired of the things I bear So drown the feeling (ah) And break me from my own despair I don't want to feel this way no more I give you everything Just drown the feeling (ah) And free me from this mental snare If I can change the path Of the road, I'm heading towards I'll lean there forward Cause everybody that I loved Turned into my worst mistake I wish I hadn't made So if I could wipe the past I would do it real fast Do it in a flash And if I could move along From this feeling so strong I'm down to lose it all I'll forget this ever happened I'm sorry for the things I felt So let me kill this, my emotions As I move out of the way again And drown the feeling (ah) I'm tired of the things I bear So drown the feeling (ah) And break me from my own despair I don't want to feel this way no more I give you everything Just drown the feeling (ah) And free me from this mental snare Suppress, deny, suppress, deny If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try To drown the feeling (ah) I'm tired of the things I bear So drown the feeling (ah) And break me from my own despair I don't want to feel this way no more I give you everything Yes, drown the feeling (ah) And free me from this mental snare Suppress, deny, suppress, deny If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try, if you can Suppress, deny, suppress, deny, suppress If you can try, if you can try To drown the feeling You know it's funny that I separated from the ones I loved I drowned the feeling I sank into my deepest desires And got everything I ever wanted Yet I still feel empty
6.
A CONFESSION, DEFENSELESS 05:00
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My spirit and flesh clash controlling All of my moves my mistakes The urge flashes in without warning The war begins banging my brain As I'm losing myself so divided Alone I can't hold my own ground Oh, is this the place where I'll be dying Lost in the vast ocean sea And oh, I can't hold on To the things that breaks me down Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things that burns me out And oh, it's killing me Oh, I can't do this myself Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things I hold close dear My spirit and flesh clash colliding Brewing up one thunderous storm The images shock me in flashbacks Of all that I've seen in the past As I'm losing myself so divided Control snatched off from my hands Oh, is this the place where I'll be dying Trapped in the chains of my sin And oh, I can't hold on To the things that breaks me down Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things that burns me out And oh, it's killing me Oh, I can't do this myself Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things I hold close dear Yes oh, I can't hold on To the things that breaks me down Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things that burns me out And oh, it's killing me Oh, I can't do this myself Destroy my defense where I'm falling All the things I hold close dear As my world is fading As my days are getting dim As the things I love are slowly out of my reach And out of hand I give it all to you I surrender all of me to you So take it all from me Just take it all
7.
WAIT FOR YOU 04:00
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Looking through the world Tryin' fill the void Filling holes in places just to not feel so alone An isolated mind, a failure of my time Hoping soon to break away and leave this all behind Cause I've been trying for years to make the change But I still fall and fail upon my face So take it all to me; I am undone And shape my heart to look up to your son Oh, I will wait for you So won't you make me new and change this point of view And I will trust in you So won't you pull me through You know just what to do Yes, I will wait for you So overwhelm my soul; I'm giving you control Make your love profound in me from now until I'm old I'm tired of this phase, the things I can't escape Consuming me throughout the years Into this slow decay Cause I've been trying for years to make the change But I still fall and fail upon my face So take it all to me; I am undone And shape my heart to look up to your son Oh, I will wait for you So won't you make me new and change this point of view And I will trust in you So won't you pull me through You know just what to do Yes, I will wait for you So won't you make me new and change my point of view And I will trust in you So won't you pull me through You know just what to do So take my pride, and all I hide Dissolve it clean and set me free This life I lived is wasted thin Chasing things from deep within Cause I've been trying for years to make the change But I still fall and fail upon my face So take it all to me; I am undone And shape my heart to look up to your son Oh, I will wait for you So won't you make me new and change this point of view And I will trust in you So won't you pull me through You know just what to do Yes, I will wait for you So won't you make me new and change my point of view And I will trust in you So won't you pull me through You know just what to do
8.
FAREWELL MY LOVER 03:58
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Chasing wasted dreams on things That would let me down Into the ground Hoping that they'd noticed me Just to pull me out From this wretched scene And I've been searching all my life To fill this empty space With someone else I should've looked in front of me As it was open wide for me find Farewell my lover I'm rethinking my stance On the things that I stand Who I trust Falling out of love I don't need my own kind To fill the void in my life anymore I've been wasting time on thoughts That aren't relevant and leave a dent Disguising my beliefs To please all that they believe of me to be And I've been searching all my life To fill this empty space with romantic thoughts I should've looked in front of me As it was open wide For me to find Farewell my lover I'm rethinking my stance On the things that I stand Who I trust Falling out of love I don't need my own kind To fill the void in my life anymore Farewell my lover I'm rethinking my stance On the things that I stand Who I trust Falling out of love I don't need my own kind To fill the void in my life anymore I had a good run Chasing someone But then I opened my eyes Saw the rock saw the light I can't turn back anymore Farewell my lover I'm rethinking my stance On the things that I stand Who I trust Falling out of love I don't need my own kind To fill the void in my life anymore Farewell my lover I'm rethinking my stance On the things that I stand Who I trust Falling out of love I don't need my own kind To fill the void in my life anymore
9.
WHEN THE LIGHTS FADE 04:56
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It's all that I wanted It's all that I dreamed Greg spoke all those words Not compromising And he's got ambition To be the jack of all trades As he's holding his ground Till it goes his own way But when the lights seem to fade And the music goes away Would he be down to leave Oh, would he be down to leave And when the sound starts to dim And the art goes to flames Would he be down to leave Oh, would he be down to leave It's all that I wanted to be a popstar Joan told her dad this And much more from the start As she's been up practicing Working her craft And pushing herself Till she makes it at last But when the lights seem to fade And the music goes away Would she be down to leave Would she be down to leave And when the sound starts to dim And the noise dies someday Would she be down to leave Would she be down to leave As I pray to God these thoughts I'm so close to leave no more Cause if this hinders me away Just take it all from me Take it all from me It's all that I wanted since I was thirteen It's been my whole life It's all that I've got As I see myself clearly in Greg and in Joan Would I stay like they are Or give it up let God lead Cause when the lights seem to fade And the music goes away Would I be down to leave Would I be down to leave And when the sound starts to dim And the fame dies in vain Would I be down to leave Would I be down to leave
10.
MEND 04:19
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The distance I made myself Couldn't change all the pain you feel Afraid of the things I felt I made it worse losing you my peer But now the change has consumed me This brand new light I wish to mend the things that I've done To cut you deep So, how could I make things right my dear Heal the scars I've made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years Regretting the things I've done Turning you away for selfish gain I tried to do this alone Still nothing worked just on my own And now I'm back into this world In my new state I wish to heal the past That I caused throughout my life So, how can I make things right my dear Heal the scars I made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years Yes, how could I make things right my dear Heal the scars I've made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years Oh, I've been changed (been changed) My old self's died my selfish ways I'm not who I was (down bad) Chasing fame just to feel loved So, I apologize (my fault) For being distant for my pride So, let's make it right (mend it) I hope it's not too late this time So, how could I make things right my dear Heal the scars I've made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years Yes, how could I make it right How could I make it right How can I make it right How can I make it right Yes, how could I make things right my dear Heal the scars I've made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years Yes, how could I make things right my dear Heal the scars I've made these tears Yes, how could I make things right my dear Turn the tide back through the years

about

change (noun): the act or instance of making or becoming different.

Over the past two years, I’ve spent much time reflecting on my life. With the themes described both in “Loss of Innocence” and “Rough Night in Riverside,” it was clear that I needed to change my point of view and re-establish who I was. I felt that I was in a place where I was drained by the world and the work I constantly put into it. As a result, I isolated myself from the people I loved and tried to drown my sorrows through things that only drained me further. Ultimately, these ideals were wrong and didn’t change my circumstances. However, throughout that time, I’ve been to many places, met people I consider now my closest friends, and gained new experiences and perspectives that will stay with me forever.

I realized that my identity wasn’t in the things I once pursued. God found me through my situations and gave me clarity like never before. It isn’t easy giving everything all to Him, but when you do, it’s so fulfilling beyond words. I didn’t need to return to the struggles I wrestled with or isolate myself from the people I loved anymore. I no longer need to keep working endlessly on creative projects just to be loved by anyone. After realizing that, I’ve been currently in the process of slowly putting my life back together and mending the relationships, I broke off with (I’m still working on this now). I’m not perfect, but I know this change will continue to shape me throughout the rest of my life.

This album is an accumulation of experiences that have changed me for the better. Each single released so far has given me some time to reflect deeply on the themes written and how they apply to my current state today. I hope you can all experience the same things; however, it’s not meant for any deeper agenda other than sharing what I’ve learned. Hopefully, you can also learn something about yourself while listening and go through your own cycles of change.

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of my work; it always means so much to me to hear your comments and thoughts on my work [more than words can explain]. I hope this album is a fantastic follow-up to the previous records and lives up to the long wait.

That said, whether you decide to listen to this album, I finally realize who I am, and that’s enough for me.

I love you all dearly, and I'll always keep you in my prayers. - Isaiah

credits

released September 2, 2022

written and produced by isaiah villar

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Isaiah Villar Corona, California

CYCLES OF CHANGE out now

email: villarmusic2000@gmail.com for any inquires

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